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Meet Cute #10: Zeus and Hera —

I had a crush on my older sister the first time I saw her. I know it’s creepy. But creepy is relative when you consider that I had to cut her from my father’s stomach along with four of my other siblings.

So if there’s a real perv in this story, it’s Dad, not me. The guy swallowed his kids.

According to Mom, Dad had always been real paranoid about one of his kids overthrowing him as king of the universe. There’d been a prophecy: Just as he, Kronos, had usurped his father, the great surveyor of the sky Uranus, so one of his own children would usurp him, etc. etc.

So his solution was to snack on each of his kids as soon as Mom gave birth. This pretty little scene was played out first with my oldest sisters Demeter and Hestia, then Hera and Hades and Poseidon.

By the time I came along, Mom finally got wise.


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